learning about taxes by Arthur Lugauskas

school, why do i not know about taxes? this seems to be an important thing to learn, but i don’t feel like it was taught to me. why is that? now i’m spending time learning and trying to understand taxes more on my own, and with the help of the internet, an accountant, a friend, thinking, questioning, et cetera.

what the blup school, why do i feel like so much of life after school, and things i should know about, i wasn’t taught about, trained, helped. and more specifically i’m talking about high school, which is a time when you learn basics, right? college doesn’t need to teach taxes, unless you want to make a profession out of it.

but then again, college probably should teach a course on taxes that are more catered to a major studied. but college is to study and do what you want to do in life, and it shouldn’t be so broad with classes you don’t want to take or do. isn’t that what high school is supposed to be more about? touching on a variety of subjects, giving students a taste of different samples, like an sample platter, so they can learn more what they like and don’t like? but also learning real life things that one would should really know about? like an oil change for a car. like types of bills that one may encounter in his/her life. like ideas and concepts of space, furniture, interior design, lighting, textiles, clothing, quality. like taxes. and like so many other things that i think about at random times. blup!

i should start a list of all the things i didn’t learn in school, but should have. blup!

but i’m here now, reviewing my taxes, trying to understand them, have numbers align, and now that i’ve connected some things, looked into my documents a bit more, and even aligned some numbers i think there is a fun aspect to this because i feel like i’m learning something new on something so common, yet so foreign to me, even though i’ve been doing taxes for years.

over the years i did taxes either online or with one accountant or another or another, and now i’m trying another after considering doing them online, but then the numbers looked a bit crazy, so getting another opinion proved to be quite valuable, but still i didn’t know why the changes were so drastic. but now, little me looking more into this, going through the documents in more detail, line after line, and reading a bit, researching a bit when i don’t understand, and then doing some math to get to a number, i feel like i know a lot more than i did before, so that’s good.

but why did i not learn this before? blup.

but it’s okay, it’s better to learn and improve now instead of continuing to play weak and avoid it, say i don’t get it, blah blah blah.

there is still more to learn, but i feel like a lot of progress has happened in the last week or so.

plus my art career expenses, after reviewing my bank statements and stuff looked to be between $15-20k last year. i don’t think i really did that before, review how much i actually invested into my art and creative projects in a year, so that was a great exercise in itself. hm, what is this year going to look like? i should start organizing numbers soon, maybe even quarterly or monthly..



missing yesterday by Arthur Lugauskas

there are different ways to interpret “missing yesterday.” one was is to think of yesterday as having been such a good kind of day that you miss a day like yesterday. another way is to think of me having missed writing a post yesterday, which was not intentional.

i thought to write every day at least once for some time, starting april 1st, 2019. but i guess my every day lasted 3 days in a row. that’s weak.

but then again, i didn’t plan to get back into writing so abruptly. i happened to be listening to seth speak about blogging every day for years, and i thought that was interesting, and maybe had a “cool factor” for me, so that combined with it happening to be april 1st (when it was april 1st) (note, not that i listened to seth on april 1st, but i might of, or i might of shortly before) i decided to just like blup it, just write whatever. and now you know if you didn’t know.

now speaking of yesterday, from earlier, does writing about yesterday the next day make yesterday alive? hm. does yesterday exist in here, but only invisibly and if you read this? hm. something to think about.

so why not write a bit about yesterday, right? okay, yesterday was indeed a good day for me. i was at the studio (home art studio) all day basically working on 2nd pass, which should have been done years ago, but i i guess forgot how to finish projects. wow, did you notice how i wrote “i” back to back!? i don’t know if i ever did that before. and i think the sentence actually makes sense and is proper! nice.

but yes, 2nd pass is still in progress, and it’s my fault. i’m embarrassed of this, am basically a loser for taking so long, but it’s finally almost done, and i should be a winner soon, and flaunting it. and then i should have the momentum to keep going with the various other started projects, along with new projects, and get in a groove of finishing projects and releasing them. and that’s exciting for me.

i worked on the yellow canvas, did some touch ups, and made some tonal decisions, along with correcting connecting tones from the purple canvas. i had some “sit and think” time to make some of these big decisions, confirmations, approvals, but i tell you, this is hard for me, especially at this stage after having this project of taken so long, the attachment and sensitivity and care for nuances i have for it are something, so it’s like i wanted to escape from the “sit and think” time, get distracted, dance, sing, and not look at the masterpiece in the making and not make decisions, act like i don’t know what to do, it’s hard, blah, blah, blah, but i worked on staying put and getting back into focus again and again until i came to some decisions.

from a naked eye it looks like not much was done, instead some tones were changed and that’s about it. but the behind the scenes shows that it took time to think about which tones to change, if any, and if so, what tone to change them to, and then to do it and look and think again and see if they are approved.

2nd pass should finally be done this month.



sad people with surface level thinking by Arthur Lugauskas

it’s a bit sad. some people have a sad life.

whether it be them having been burnt too many times in the past in which they’ve decided caused them to have trust issues with every single future person. whether it be them being in an unhappy relationship or marriage in which they choose to not get out of due to not wanting to lose money, but which then caused them to look and find someone else that would satisfy them, even if it were only a fantasy that costed money (ironic?). these people think it’s okay to cheat, but not be cheated on, which doesn’t really make sense. these people move forward with the thinking that they are never wrong and that they should never apologize. as if being wrong or apologizing would show weakness, but staying in an unhealthy miserable relationship somehow shows strength. really!?

these people are also so selfish, so inconsiderate to what others feel and go through, instead they think they are the victim in every scenario, but they never show it, they just secretly decide it, they think the world is out to get them and their money, that everyone is not doing good enough, that they are working harder than everyone else, and that they are someone who they are not. so they pretend and act like they are on the same team as others, they act like they want to share the wealth, give back, but only give back a little if the highest expectations are met, no exceptions.

these people don’t care about depth, details, nuances, and truth. they just see what is on the surface. they only care about what is on the surface. not what is right or wrong. not for an explanation. they don’t want to hear it. they don’t want to acknowledge that maybe they said something wrong, or unjust. they don’t care about the story, the reasons, nor for others to improve and get better. they don’t want to actually help. they don’t want to give back. they don’t treat a new person as a clean slate. they’d rather think that everyone is out to get them, no one can be trusted, and that everyone is the same - disposable.

it’s sad, because some of these people have a lot of money, and potential to help the world in a good way. they have a certain power and reach that can make positive impact and change. but they don’t want that. nor do they know what they can actually achieve. because they are actually very poor in the mind. they don’t have depth. they just react, without thinking. they don’t care of others’ feelings. they think, “me, me, me.” and the bigger problem is that they don’t think they are the problem. they think others are a problem and no one is right, but themselves. these people are really poor culturally. and that’s sad.

and they don’t want help from anyone. they don’t want to talk to you. they don’t want advice. because anything you say is wrong if they don’t already think that. if you say something new, or open up a door to a new perspective which they may not have seen, they think you’re wrong, you should not have done that, and you’re stupid for not looking at what’s on the surface. when you try to take them in and expose truths and depths of something that was done wrong, or better yet something that they said wrong, they don’t want to hear it. they think you’re wrong for even thinking about going beyond the surface fo what happened and what they saw. they already decided that what happened happened, and it’s your fault! why don’t you get that!? don’t be dumb and defend yourself, are you kidding me!? that’s what they think. they want others to be weak and dumber than them and they want to control others. and another sad thing is that many people can be controlled, many people are very weak, get taken advantage of, and allow themselves to continue to get taken advantage of. and once one person allows themselves to be vulnerable, weak, and controlled, these sad people like that and want everyone else to be like that, but then they have the nerve to also have high expectations of them somehow. how can you have high expectations of low quality people!? it just doesn’t make sense. but these sad people don’t think that way, instead they think what they think is right and act like that’s normal, to expect so highly of someone of low quality. and when the low quality person doesn’t meet expectations these sad people act like it’s the low quality persons fault instead of understanding that the two things don’t go together, are basically opposites of one another, and is ridiculous to even expect.

but what happens when these sad people encounter someone who they can’t control and who is smarter than them? oh, they don’t like that at all. they decide to hate the person for being good, smart, intelligent, and one who has his/her own opinion. it’s so crazy! they don’t even like to hear others defend that person, reaffirming that person’s value. it’s so counterproductive. don’t you want to know and be with people smarter than you, whom can give you a real opinion, not a roboticly fearful response?

these sad people don’t realize it, nor would want to acknowledge it, but they look sad when they are wrong, but don’t think they are wrong, yet keep fighting after someone else showed them blatantly that they are actually wrong, with evidence. it’s like they are scarred to look into a mirror and see that they were wrong and seek for improvement. they prefer thinking that everyone else is wrong, negative, out to get them, which i guess is an easier thought, like being the victim is easy, like being right is easy, and they feel so alone in this world full of sharks that are after what they have, which are surface level items that actually don’t matter, nor bring real happiness. hence why they stay in this cycle of sadness.

also, sadly, these sad people with surface level thinking like others to be a punching bag and to be at fault. like, they actually like that, and feed off that. it brings them their missing happiness somehow, hurting others, blaming others. because it sure feels good to blame someone, doesn’t it? and it sure feels good to be a bully when you think you have more power than someone else, doesn’t it? how sad is that?

if you’re dealing with sad people like this, don’t worry, you’re not alone, see through the nonsense, have a laugh inside, maybe even outside, maybe out loud, enjoy the show, don’t let it get to you, be you, uncontrolled, free, real. no need to be afraid to be wrong, being wrong is part of growth, of trying. failing is part of growing. you’re stronger after you fail and get back up. you’re smarter too! you don’t know it all and this world is invented. be kind, respectful, and don’t let the sad people bring you down. also note, it’s okay to be sad in the sense of being sad, whether you went through a breakup, didn’t achieve something you worked really hard for, et cetera. the thing is, don’t be a jerk to everyone around you and think the world is against you because some things didn’t work out for you. every new person you meet deserves to be a clean slate, and you can judge them through what they have done or haven’t done to you. no need for preconceived nonsense, lies, and hate from others, especially sad people.

be awesome, be amazing, and don’t let nonsense take you down, because it exists, even though it’s hard to understand why some people are so sad and wrong and think it’s okay to treat others like garbage, like, brah, really!? why? chill.



$0 from art by Arthur Lugauskas

still, to this day, somehow, someway, i’ve made $0 from art. am i anti-business or something? am i a real artist? am i even an artist? or is that category a category that boxes me into something that i’d rather not be known as?

i still have yet to get my last years taxes done, and for the first time i think i’m having my artistic career be part of it, because last year i did work as an artist, a creative, a photographer, a videographer, a visual artist basically, and i did spend money on that “business” and i did try to make money, tried to sell paintings, but i did not succeed. i made $0 from art last year, again. and i think i spent around $8,000 worth of business expenses that had to do with my career as a visual artist. but i’m not sure if the number is exactly $8,000. i did a rough calculation to get an idea of what i spent, but lately in the past couple of days i dove deeper and went to town organizing expenses. so that number might get bigger or smaller or remain similar.

i should actually continue figuring out my expenses and organizing that real of things because these taxes should get done soon. so i think i’ll get back to it. but i just wanted to stop by and let it be known that after all the paintings i’ve done, the string installations, the murals, the sculptures, the drawings, the photography, and my documentary film, i still made $0 from art, and i’m still not stopping. i’m actually maybe getting started.



new blog? by Arthur Lugauskas

write here, and here i am, writing, feels like it’s been a while. like i’ve been out of the writing game. well, my writing game of me writing how i write, having fun, experimenting, being me. so maybe i’m back, but it’s too early to tell.

i’d like to continue my autobioblogphy, but lately i haven’t been getting to it, which is not cool. actually it’s been a really long time since i did much in it, which is really not cool. but it still exists and i do plan to get back in it at some point.

right now i’m taking a bit of a different approach with myself and my activities. for the past years i was more in the mindset of wanting to do everything at once, all 7 of my careers, and other interests and activities, and et cetera, but it hasn’t been working. maybe i haven’t been trying, or maybe i’m not ready for that, or maybe something else.

so lately i’ve been working on actually finishing 2nd pass for a change. like actually finish it. like, blupping finishing it. by the way, i’m still not sure if “blupping” is to be spelled “blupping” or “bluping”. and i’m not sure if the period should go after the quotation mark (“bluping”.) or before it (“bluping.”). note, i do like a to have a certain level of english and writing and a certain properness to it. or i should type “properness” actually. what i mean is that i don’t like common or known words to be misspelled, i don’t like punctuation to be wrong in terms of commas, periods, et cetera, and i’m not a fan of many abbreviations that tend to be written in text. like when someone laughs out loud, or doesn’t know, or says “okay” with just a letter, i’m not a fan.

but writing in lowercase is cool. and having capital letters at the right spots too.

i’m segwaying (doesn’t look like “segwaying” is a word, i guess), and just typing here, not even sure if there’s a purpose to what i’m writing/typing. what am i technically doing, writing or typing? or both? can both words be used interchangeably here? i guess.

again, words are just flowing out of me here. and i think i should do this more often. oh yeah, so yes, lately i was focusing on finishing 2nd pass because i want to finally be done with it, complete it, and release it to the world. and that is a reason my autobioblogphy has been on hold in the recent weeks/ months.

i’m thinking, since wanting to do it all at once just hasn’t been working for me, or i just don’t know how to do it right now or something, i’m thinking to go for the hardest profession on my list, and that is to make it in art. and i think with art as an umbrella i can do anything afterwards, because it’s all art. and that might sound good and all, but i think making it in art is the hardest from my list of professions/ careers, but i also think making it in art might be one of the hardest things anyone can do. i think being a famous artist is harder than being a doctor or a lawyer. and i think i’m taking on that challenge. or destiny?