2nd pass

missing yesterday by Arthur Lugauskas

there are different ways to interpret “missing yesterday.” one was is to think of yesterday as having been such a good kind of day that you miss a day like yesterday. another way is to think of me having missed writing a post yesterday, which was not intentional.

i thought to write every day at least once for some time, starting april 1st, 2019. but i guess my every day lasted 3 days in a row. that’s weak.

but then again, i didn’t plan to get back into writing so abruptly. i happened to be listening to seth speak about blogging every day for years, and i thought that was interesting, and maybe had a “cool factor” for me, so that combined with it happening to be april 1st (when it was april 1st) (note, not that i listened to seth on april 1st, but i might of, or i might of shortly before) i decided to just like blup it, just write whatever. and now you know if you didn’t know.

now speaking of yesterday, from earlier, does writing about yesterday the next day make yesterday alive? hm. does yesterday exist in here, but only invisibly and if you read this? hm. something to think about.

so why not write a bit about yesterday, right? okay, yesterday was indeed a good day for me. i was at the studio (home art studio) all day basically working on 2nd pass, which should have been done years ago, but i i guess forgot how to finish projects. wow, did you notice how i wrote “i” back to back!? i don’t know if i ever did that before. and i think the sentence actually makes sense and is proper! nice.

but yes, 2nd pass is still in progress, and it’s my fault. i’m embarrassed of this, am basically a loser for taking so long, but it’s finally almost done, and i should be a winner soon, and flaunting it. and then i should have the momentum to keep going with the various other started projects, along with new projects, and get in a groove of finishing projects and releasing them. and that’s exciting for me.

i worked on the yellow canvas, did some touch ups, and made some tonal decisions, along with correcting connecting tones from the purple canvas. i had some “sit and think” time to make some of these big decisions, confirmations, approvals, but i tell you, this is hard for me, especially at this stage after having this project of taken so long, the attachment and sensitivity and care for nuances i have for it are something, so it’s like i wanted to escape from the “sit and think” time, get distracted, dance, sing, and not look at the masterpiece in the making and not make decisions, act like i don’t know what to do, it’s hard, blah, blah, blah, but i worked on staying put and getting back into focus again and again until i came to some decisions.

from a naked eye it looks like not much was done, instead some tones were changed and that’s about it. but the behind the scenes shows that it took time to think about which tones to change, if any, and if so, what tone to change them to, and then to do it and look and think again and see if they are approved.

2nd pass should finally be done this month.

19-4-5

arthur

new blog? by Arthur Lugauskas

write here, and here i am, writing, feels like it’s been a while. like i’ve been out of the writing game. well, my writing game of me writing how i write, having fun, experimenting, being me. so maybe i’m back, but it’s too early to tell.

i’d like to continue my autobioblogphy, but lately i haven’t been getting to it, which is not cool. actually it’s been a really long time since i did much in it, which is really not cool. but it still exists and i do plan to get back in it at some point.

right now i’m taking a bit of a different approach with myself and my activities. for the past years i was more in the mindset of wanting to do everything at once, all 7 of my careers, and other interests and activities, and et cetera, but it hasn’t been working. maybe i haven’t been trying, or maybe i’m not ready for that, or maybe something else.

so lately i’ve been working on actually finishing 2nd pass for a change. like actually finish it. like, blupping finishing it. by the way, i’m still not sure if “blupping” is to be spelled “blupping” or “bluping”. and i’m not sure if the period should go after the quotation mark (“bluping”.) or before it (“bluping.”). note, i do like a to have a certain level of english and writing and a certain properness to it. or i should type “properness” actually. what i mean is that i don’t like common or known words to be misspelled, i don’t like punctuation to be wrong in terms of commas, periods, et cetera, and i’m not a fan of many abbreviations that tend to be written in text. like when someone laughs out loud, or doesn’t know, or says “okay” with just a letter, i’m not a fan.

but writing in lowercase is cool. and having capital letters at the right spots too.

i’m segwaying (doesn’t look like “segwaying” is a word, i guess), and just typing here, not even sure if there’s a purpose to what i’m writing/typing. what am i technically doing, writing or typing? or both? can both words be used interchangeably here? i guess.

again, words are just flowing out of me here. and i think i should do this more often. oh yeah, so yes, lately i was focusing on finishing 2nd pass because i want to finally be done with it, complete it, and release it to the world. and that is a reason my autobioblogphy has been on hold in the recent weeks/ months.

i’m thinking, since wanting to do it all at once just hasn’t been working for me, or i just don’t know how to do it right now or something, i’m thinking to go for the hardest profession on my list, and that is to make it in art. and i think with art as an umbrella i can do anything afterwards, because it’s all art. and that might sound good and all, but i think making it in art is the hardest from my list of professions/ careers, but i also think making it in art might be one of the hardest things anyone can do. i think being a famous artist is harder than being a doctor or a lawyer. and i think i’m taking on that challenge. or destiny?

19-4-1

arthur