missing yesterday by Arthur Lugauskas

there are different ways to interpret “missing yesterday.” one was is to think of yesterday as having been such a good kind of day that you miss a day like yesterday. another way is to think of me having missed writing a post yesterday, which was not intentional.

i thought to write every day at least once for some time, starting april 1st, 2019. but i guess my every day lasted 3 days in a row. that’s weak.

but then again, i didn’t plan to get back into writing so abruptly. i happened to be listening to seth speak about blogging every day for years, and i thought that was interesting, and maybe had a “cool factor” for me, so that combined with it happening to be april 1st (when it was april 1st) (note, not that i listened to seth on april 1st, but i might of, or i might of shortly before) i decided to just like blup it, just write whatever. and now you know if you didn’t know.

now speaking of yesterday, from earlier, does writing about yesterday the next day make yesterday alive? hm. does yesterday exist in here, but only invisibly and if you read this? hm. something to think about.

so why not write a bit about yesterday, right? okay, yesterday was indeed a good day for me. i was at the studio (home art studio) all day basically working on 2nd pass, which should have been done years ago, but i i guess forgot how to finish projects. wow, did you notice how i wrote “i” back to back!? i don’t know if i ever did that before. and i think the sentence actually makes sense and is proper! nice.

but yes, 2nd pass is still in progress, and it’s my fault. i’m embarrassed of this, am basically a loser for taking so long, but it’s finally almost done, and i should be a winner soon, and flaunting it. and then i should have the momentum to keep going with the various other started projects, along with new projects, and get in a groove of finishing projects and releasing them. and that’s exciting for me.

i worked on the yellow canvas, did some touch ups, and made some tonal decisions, along with correcting connecting tones from the purple canvas. i had some “sit and think” time to make some of these big decisions, confirmations, approvals, but i tell you, this is hard for me, especially at this stage after having this project of taken so long, the attachment and sensitivity and care for nuances i have for it are something, so it’s like i wanted to escape from the “sit and think” time, get distracted, dance, sing, and not look at the masterpiece in the making and not make decisions, act like i don’t know what to do, it’s hard, blah, blah, blah, but i worked on staying put and getting back into focus again and again until i came to some decisions.

from a naked eye it looks like not much was done, instead some tones were changed and that’s about it. but the behind the scenes shows that it took time to think about which tones to change, if any, and if so, what tone to change them to, and then to do it and look and think again and see if they are approved.

2nd pass should finally be done this month.



$0 from art by Arthur Lugauskas

still, to this day, somehow, someway, i’ve made $0 from art. am i anti-business or something? am i a real artist? am i even an artist? or is that category a category that boxes me into something that i’d rather not be known as?

i still have yet to get my last years taxes done, and for the first time i think i’m having my artistic career be part of it, because last year i did work as an artist, a creative, a photographer, a videographer, a visual artist basically, and i did spend money on that “business” and i did try to make money, tried to sell paintings, but i did not succeed. i made $0 from art last year, again. and i think i spent around $8,000 worth of business expenses that had to do with my career as a visual artist. but i’m not sure if the number is exactly $8,000. i did a rough calculation to get an idea of what i spent, but lately in the past couple of days i dove deeper and went to town organizing expenses. so that number might get bigger or smaller or remain similar.

i should actually continue figuring out my expenses and organizing that real of things because these taxes should get done soon. so i think i’ll get back to it. but i just wanted to stop by and let it be known that after all the paintings i’ve done, the string installations, the murals, the sculptures, the drawings, the photography, and my documentary film, i still made $0 from art, and i’m still not stopping. i’m actually maybe getting started.